Active Listening: seek first to understand

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• Restate the strongest objection to your own motion before voting

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• Listening to understand the speaker's frame of reference; he says "yes, that's it"

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• Listen with intent to understand, not to reply; then earn the right to be understood

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• Voss's tactical empathy: repeat key words; name the emotion you hear

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• What happened, feelings, identity — all happening simultaneously

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