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NM Freemason · Skills & Drills · Chapter 55

Be Proactive: the choice is yours

Drawn from published Masonic monitor content. See site Credits for source citations.

Vocabulary (11)

Be Proactive (Habit 1)
Covey's first habit. To be proactive is to take responsibility for your own life: your choices, your responses, your conditions, your growth. Reactive people give their power away to circumstance and other people; proactive people keep it. The habit is the precondition of every other habit in the 7 Habits sequence; if a man hasn't decided his life is his own to shape, none of the other habits land.
Stimulus-response gap
Between any stimulus (someone insults you, a meeting goes badly, a plan falls through) and your response, there is a space. The size of that space is the measure of a man's freedom. Frankl's contribution from Man's Search for Meaning: even in a concentration camp, the last freedom that cannot be taken is the freedom to choose your stance toward what is happening. Reactive people collapse the gap to zero. Proactive people stretch it as wide as they can.
CIA Model
Control, Influence, Accept. The working tool of Habit 1 in three steps. For anything in front of you: (1) Can you control it? If yes, act. (2) If not, can you influence it? If yes, influence what you can and accept the partial result. (3) If neither, accept it without resentment and put your attention where it can matter. The model maps directly to Covey's Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence and to Epictetus's dichotomy of control.
Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence
Covey's two-circle diagram. The Circle of Concern is everything a man cares about (the economy, the weather, what others think of him); the Circle of Influence is the smaller subset he can actually affect. Reactive people focus on the larger circle and feel powerless; proactive people focus on the smaller circle, and the smaller circle grows. The shrink-or-grow direction of the inner circle is the test of which mode a man is in.
Reactive language
The vocabulary of a man who has given his power away. "He makes me so angry." "I have to . . ." "They won't allow it." "There's nothing I can do." "That's just the way I am." Each phrase locates the cause outside the speaker, where he can't reach it. The phrases are habit-forming on their own; changing the language changes the behavior, in both directions.
Proactive language
The vocabulary of a man who has claimed authorship. "I'm choosing my response." "I'll find out what the rules actually are." "I prefer to . . ." "Let me think about what I can control here." "I'll be more patient." The phrases locate the cause inside the speaker, where he can act on it. Proactive language is one of the cheapest habit upgrades available; the words come out of your mouth and the next response shapes itself accordingly.
Dichotomy of control (Epictetus)
From Epictetus's Enchiridion, opening line: "Some things are within our power, while others are not." Within our power: our judgments, our intentions, our desires, our aversions. Not within our power: our bodies, our possessions, our reputations, the actions of others. The Stoic discipline is to invest care in the first column and accept the second. The CIA Model is the modern operating version.
Self-determination
The psychological capacity to choose one's actions in line with one's values, even under pressure. Deci and Ryan's self-determination theory (1985, 2017) identified three innate needs that support it: autonomy (acting from one's own will), competence (effectiveness), and relatedness (connection to others). When all three are met, intrinsic motivation rises and the man chooses well without needing external pressure.
Law of Intuition (Maxwell)
John Maxwell's eighth Irrefutable Law: "Leaders evaluate everything with a leadership bias." Intuition here doesn't mean guessing; it means a cultivated noticing. The man who has practiced proactive choice for a decade reads a room differently from the man who hasn't. The Law of Intuition is the long-run output of Habit 1: enough deliberate choices and the next choice becomes faster, often without conscious reasoning.
System 1 and System 2 (Kahneman)
Daniel Kahneman's published frame from Thinking, Fast and Slow (2011): the mind runs two systems. System 1 is fast, automatic, intuitive; System 2 is slow, deliberate, effortful. Proactive choice is System 2 work that, repeated, gets handed down to System 1. The cultivated intuition Maxwell calls the leadership bias is well-trained System 1: the fast read of a situation that was trained by years of deliberate System 2 attention.
Recognition-primed decision (Klein)
Gary Klein's research on expert decision-making (Sources of Power, 1998): under time pressure, experts don't compare options; they recognize the situation as a pattern and act on the first workable option that comes to mind. The pattern library is built through deliberate practice over years. The implication for proactive choice: the freedom Frankl describes between stimulus and response is the gap where pattern-recognition runs, and the size of the gap depends on how much practice you've done before the moment of pressure.

Sequences (3)

Applying the CIA Model to a real situation

Pick a current source of pressure (a deadline, a difficult brother, a household dispute, an unreliable supplier). Walk the three steps in order.
  1. Control. Ask: what part of this is directly under my control? Act on those parts first.
  2. Influence. Ask: what part can I influence but not control? Take the action that nudges it, knowing you can't guarantee the outcome.
  3. Accept. Ask: what's left after Control and Influence? Accept it without resentment, and shift your attention to the parts where you can matter.
  4. Review. After the situation closes, look back. Did you spend energy in the right column?

Auditing your own language for one week

A short discipline that builds the proactive habit cheaply. The words come out of your mouth and shape the next response.
  1. On Monday, listen to yourself. Notice phrases like "I have to", "He makes me", "There's nothing I can do."
  2. Each time you catch one, restate it: "I'm choosing to", "I'm responding to", "Here's what I can do."
  3. By Friday, count the catches. The count will fall as the habit forms.
  4. Notice how the change in language changes how you actually feel about the situation. The shift is real, not magical.

Growing the Circle of Influence

Covey's prescription for expanding the small circle. The work compounds; small early wins make later wins easier.
  1. List the things you currently worry about (the Concern circle).
  2. Cross out everything you cannot affect at all. What's left is your Influence circle.
  3. Pick one item from the Influence circle and act on it this week. Don't wait for permission.
  4. Notice over time: as you keep acting on what you can affect, items move from Concern into Influence as your skill and credibility grow.

Multiple-choice (10)

1. What does Covey's Habit 1 (Be Proactive) require a man to take responsibility for?
  1. Only his own work output
  2. His own life: his choices, his responses, his conditions, and his growth ✓
  3. The behavior of everyone around him
  4. His income only
2. Where did Covey take the "stimulus-response gap" insight from?
  1. Pavlov's dogs
  2. Frankl's observation in four concentration camps that the last freedom that cannot be taken is the freedom to choose your response ✓
  3. B. F. Skinner's experiments
  4. His own original research
3. What are the three steps of the CIA Model, in order?
  1. Confront, Investigate, Adapt
  2. Control, Influence, Accept ✓
  3. Compute, Iterate, Act
  4. Choose, Initiate, Achieve
4. What's the difference between Covey's Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence?
  1. Circle of Concern is at work; Circle of Influence is at home
  2. Circle of Concern is what you care about; Circle of Influence is the smaller subset you can actually affect. Reactive people focus on the larger circle; proactive people focus on the smaller one, which then grows. ✓
  3. Concern is positive; Influence is negative
  4. There is no real difference
5. Which phrase is reactive language?
  1. "I'm choosing my response."
  2. "He makes me so angry." ✓
  3. "Let me think about what I can control here."
  4. "I prefer to handle it differently."
6. How does Epictetus open the Enchiridion, and what does the line teach?
  1. With a poem on duty
  2. With the dichotomy of control: some things are within our power (judgments, intentions), others are not (bodies, possessions, the actions of others). The wise man learns the difference. ✓
  3. With a story about a king
  4. With a recipe for happiness
7. What three innate needs does Deci and Ryan's self-determination theory identify?
  1. Food, sleep, exercise
  2. Autonomy, competence, relatedness ✓
  3. Achievement, affiliation, power
  4. Mind, body, soul
8. What's Maxwell's Law of Intuition actually claiming, and how does it relate to proactive choice?
  1. Leaders are born with good intuition
  2. Leaders evaluate everything with a cultivated leadership bias; intuition is the long-run output of years of deliberate proactive choice ✓
  3. Intuition is unreliable and should be ignored
  4. Intuition replaces deliberate thinking
9. How do Kahneman's System 1 and System 2 connect to the stimulus-response gap?
  1. System 1 is the gap; System 2 is the response
  2. Proactive choice is System 2 work that, repeated, gets handed down to System 1; well-trained intuition is fast System 1 trained by years of deliberate System 2 attention ✓
  3. System 2 should always override System 1
  4. The two systems are unrelated to proactivity
10. What does Gary Klein's research on recognition-primed decision-making say about expert choice under pressure?
  1. Experts deliberate longer than novices
  2. Under time pressure, experts don't compare options; they recognize the situation as a pattern and act on the first workable option, and the pattern library is built through years of deliberate practice ✓
  3. Experts make worse decisions under pressure
  4. Klein contradicts the idea of intuition